All comes from God. We are sparks sent out to undertake the great task of remembering our Home and Source, and to fulfill our utmost individual potential along the way. Also, to support to the utmost, others' individual potential.
Kabbalah states that our light and The Light are hidden, for good purpose. When one is tired of not being in enough love, it is time to seek the light at our heart center.
Everyone knows that love is a tremendously good feeling, either giving or receiving, even to simply be around. All the world loves the lovers... It is a lighter feeling than depression. Emotions have energy, and energy can have weight ("heavy, man") or actually be uplifting. This is why it is a good thing to seek to be and to be in unconditional love. Love provides the open space in which all things may grow. A moment spent with someone loving may help you shrug off chronic emotional issues. Why not seek as much of it as possible? Why not be as much of it as possible?
The material body is referred to by David Lynch as "The suffocating rubber clown suit". The spirit, and its connection with God, are our continuous nature; the body, a temporary home. The body is self-aware and highly intelligent. It has a large amount of instinct, and this is increased through each experience. Thus, we eventually find the musical or artistic prodigy, who has always seemed to have such skill.
The same goes, unfortunately, for other bodily characteristics, such as lust, jealousy, fear, hate, etc. The classic "deadly sins". This leads to a greater and greater tendency (and demand) to fulfill them. Habits are formed, and new spiritual habits are required to negate them.
The body also amuses itself. I am hungry. I want sex. I fear strangers. I want that music....and thinking becomes denser and more complex, until there are no spaces between thoughts. At this point, all that fills our perception (the body itself) are the body's signals. Yes, thought is a signal, the mind is an organ of associative processing. The spirit is the core of awareness/consciousness, but the incessant chatter of the body's needs makes it appear that it is all there is, or can be.
As stated about Love, all acts of love increase that which you will receive. The same is true about the body/ego. All acts serving the body/ego will increase the body/ego. To break out of the trap about which we were not even aware, requires the spiritual path of actions designed to act in opposition to the body's signals (at least to the point at which some amount of freedom is achieved, not deliberate self-rejection or self-destruction). Merely, to tame the wild horse that is the body, to follow instruction, and to not lead us everywhere that interests it.
Meditation produces insight into this condition through causing us to see these troublesome tendencies. As you sit Zazen, the body will become bored and begin making its demands. "I want hamburgers for dinner." "I want a new lover." "Gotta get to the game early this weekend." All of this is normal and not to be fought against. The good books on meditation, including "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind", "When Things Fall Apart", "The Master Key System", and "The Path of Emancipation" discuss this at adequate length. It becomes possible to sit and not leap up to fulfill whatever comes to mind. Or, to give in to any fear the body may create in order to get you up from meditation (and then, out to fulfill whatever comes to mind).
Do not worry about this; the body is designed to respond to these techniques, and it does. It may take a while for some, but the rewards are so significant, I strongly encourage you to continue. No time spent on spirituality is ever wasted. If meditation is too difficult, counter-act this through more time at the animal shelter or soup kitchen.
Free will.
The question of "why does God allow evil, and bad things to happen to good people" has long plauged Mankind. I myself have no complete answer, not being enlightened, but the best answers seem to regard free will. We are on a stage creating theatre, all of us together. We are to a degree separate from God in the material (enough to forget God entirely). We are allowed to perform acts of negativity (and to reap their returns). Also, the natural systems must follow their functions regardless of whether those who live in the far north do not wish for snow to fill their streets and driveways once more, or for an avalanche to cause harm.
Also, regarding the tendency for a body to increasingly signal selfish desire after an extended period of fulfilling selfish desires, forms Syntony (or to some, the Law of Attraction). Sometimes things just happen, and sometimes, there is causality involved. Sometimes there are clusters of selfishness from past lives which we intend to clear in this life, and situations will magnetize to us in order to awaken us to a trend which requires change. There are many reasons, but going into the spiritual path, especially loving service, allows us to diminish them, sometimes eliminate them. Sadly, sometimes it takes someone who has been raped to create a system of shelters or even new laws benefitting others who have had the same experience. (Here I have to honor the morality of the film "Bruce Almighty", which provides some good discussion regarding this.)
I myself have been through much suffering. More than I could deal with. The result has been to pursue the positive path with greater and greater dedication, and I have healed, and hopefully helped others along that path as well. Thankfully, the news of the future is joy, which is our birthright, and our learning may now be done through excitement and that which is Right for us. It is worth getting to, even through the deepest bog and darkest night! Even if you lose your faith, and I certainly have...and when I admit that I have to make the decisions or am the creator of my own misery, it improves. Give it to God and let go.
