Excellent question, and it is currently mine as well.
I'm very sorry about your old relationship. Once bitten, twice shy, for good reason. You need to understand that you do indeed have good reason to be shy. This validates your need to be safe and stable, and honors your own value. You are already honoring your own value through taking these actions. Be certain to remember this, as it builds strength at your core. "I am already taking steps that honor myself." If this makes any sense...which segues nicely into your quote/question...
My ability to trust has been smashed, and smashed again (typed "shamed" instead of "smashed"; definitely Freud In The House..we blame ourselves for others' attitudes and damaging behaviours...Let go of self-blame and shame about your vulnerability. Admit to hurt and vulnerability, and it begins to heal.).
I once could hear my heart clearly, and it was always correct. I've ended up second-guessing it and going in the wrong direction for so long, that it's now completely silent. My angels do overtime with guidance, to compensate...it requires being quiet, asking for help, and being willing to receive the help when it comes, especially if it contradicts what the mind and emotions want (even beg for). Especially again, if we are up the wrong tree and the intuition/guidance states this; we must be open to the potential that we are wrong, and be willing to make a change (and sometimes to acknowledge that we are wrong, if we're good at hiding behind what we want in the face of facts to the contrary). Sit, breathe, send love, and ask for assistance on specific questions. Spend time helping others and the Universe will automatically help YOU. Spend time with the things that give you joy, and you will clear your worries, allowing for greater ease and flow (and also, pray for ease and grace regarding your big questions and suffering).
God be with you!
(from an ASAH forum post)